Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: I am a woman, and I do not see why I should masturbate. I hear sex educators say that "everyone should" masturbate, but I have plenty of orgasms during sex with my partner. So do I still "need" to masturbate?

Answer from Dr. Locker

Masturbation is important (and wonderful) for women who enjoy having pleasure alone. I always recommend it to women who have never had an orgasm, women who don’t know what pleases them sexually, and women who don’t orgasm during sex with a partner or who want more orgasms than they have with their partner. Anyone who falls into those categories, really owes it to herself to find the time and energy to masturbate. These women should learn how to give themselves an orgasm, learn where and how it feels good to touch their body, and generally enjoy the pleasure and release of having an orgasm. For women, like you, who can orgasm just fine and who get plenty of orgasms from sex, and who would rather orgasm with a partner than alone: if you do not want to masturbate, then no one should tell you that you have to do it. It is all up to you: you do not "need" to masturbate, only if you like to, and want to. Finally, I will add that having two to four orgasms a week is good for your health (primarily because of stress reduction). So, if you choose to not masturbate, then consider whether you are having enough orgasms from sex to benefit your health.


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