Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: If I like my girlfriend to penetrate my bum with a strap-on does that mean I'm gay?

Answer from Dr. Locker

No. If you liked your *boyfriend* to penetrate your bum, then you’d be gay. Both men and women have an anus, so both men and women of any sexual orientation can enjoy anal stimulation. When a heterosexual man enjoys anal stimulation, even in the form of a strap-on dildo (in slang called "pegging"), all that means is that he is anally liberated, not gay. You are having these sexual behaviors with someone of the opposite sex, so by definition, that’s heterosexual. While using a strap-on does not mean you are gay, I should mention that if you are not just enjoying anal stimulation, but rather you always have to fantasize that your girlfriend is a man in order to feel aroused, and you feel attracted to men, then you may not be completely heterosexual. Sexual orientation is on a continuum. You may be heterosexual, without being 100% heterosexual. Even if you sometimes fantasize that she is a man that still does not mean that you’d be gay, or ever want to have sex with a man. If you enjoy your sex life with your girlfriend, and she enjoys it with you, then you have something wonderful. So keep enjoying it, and do not allow yourself to worry about labels.

For more info about the sexual orientation continuum and the Kinsey scale, I also discussed it here: * What does it mean to be a 3 on the Kinsey scale?

For more information about "pegging," a man receiving anal penetration from a woman wearing a strap-on, I discussed it here: * What is pegging?


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