Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: My new girlfriend and I have sex every night, but I know that won't last. What should I do if I am not in the mood? What about when she is not in the mood?

Answer from Dr. Locker

How you deal with the first night that one of you doesn't want to get it on speaks volumes about your sexual potential together. If you complain or freak out, because she is not in the mood, then she may think that you care more about your sexual needs than about her feelings. She will think that sex is more important to you than love or affection. Therefore, if she is not in the mood, be loving to her by asking if you can still hold her. Or if you really want to have an orgasm, ask her if you can hold her while you masturbate. If you are the one who is not in the mood, the best way to act to save the night is to remain loving and affectionate. Or you can ask her if she wants to masturbate in your arms. If you are too tired to have sex, then the best way to tell her is to say, “Tomorrow night, I will seduce you, and I will plan something very special!” This serves two purposes: first, it lets her know that you are not rejecting her, and second, it gives her something to fantasize about and look forward to. Just be sure to follow through on your promise: Tomorrow, be prepared to strip for her and make love like you never have before.


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