Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: How should I introduce my vibrator to use during sex with my boyfriend?

Answer from Dr. Locker

Many men would enthusiastically welcome the use of sex toys in bed and thank their stars they’ve found a woman who’s comfortable enough to share this side of her sex life with them. But since some men might worry that your vibrator is making up for his shortcomings, you’re best off making it clear that it’s something you want to share with him rather than use to shut him out. You could say, “I want to show you something I really find a turn-on, and I hope you will too.” When you bring it out, show him first how you use it on yourself (a sexy show few men wouldn’t enjoy seeing) and then ask, “Do you want to see how it feels?” and try using it on him (men can find it arousing, too). Or, ask him to wield the controls during sex. Once guys see how your vibrator is just an accessory to lovemaking rather than his replacement, he’ll probably be fine with it.


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