Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: I found a vibrator under my girlfriend's bed. I want to confront her, but I also want her to let me use it with her.

Answer from Dr. Locker

It’s her vibrator. She uses it for masturbation. This is sort of equal to if she found your favorite porn website in your computer history, and then she confronted you and asked if you could use it together. You might be into it, but it could also be embarrassing to you.

If you want to talk with her about her vibrator, then please do not “confront” her -- just casually mention it. Say something like, “Hey, I saw your vibrator under the bed. If that’s something that you like to just have for yourself to use in private, then that’s cool. But if you ever want to use it together, then let’s.” It’s fine if she wants to use it with you, but if not, then forget it. She sometimes needs to satisfy herself her way, and in that case, keep your paws off of her vibrating toy. You can always get your own.

Copyright © Dr. Sari Locker