Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: I'm a woman who is not quite sure how to move when I am on top. Do you have technique advice?

Answer from Dr. Locker

In the woman-on-top position, most often the woman straddles the man’s hips, taking his penis inside her, and then lies on top of him, either with her legs bent behind her (almost in a kneeling position), or stretched out flat along the sides of his legs(front side down). (Yet there are many variations of this position.) The woman can support her weight on her arms when she leans forward, or she can sit all the way up and allow her arms to just dangle or use them to touch him or herself.

In this position, the woman actively controls the speed at which thrusting occurs, and the angle and the depth of penetration. How a woman chooses to move in this position depends on what she wants to feel, or what she wants her partner to feel.

If you're a woman who wants to try to have an orgasm, then try leaning forward slightly and moving in a sliding motion with his penis inside you -- to rub your clitoris against his pelvis as you thrust. In that position, you’ll feel him gently sliding in and out of your vagina, while most of the sensation will be your clitoris rubbing on his pelvis. In this position, your whole body may be very close, or even flat on top of his, with your head close to his.

If you want to feel harder penetration in your vagina, then straighten up, and hoist your vagina up and down on his penis, moving your whole body up and down. Your body will be perpendicular to his. In that position, you can even move your bent legs so that your feet are flat down and you are using your bent legs to push yourself up and down (as if you were mimicking a frog.)

If you want to show your man a full view of your breasts, then you’ll choose to sit up slightly or all the way, so he can see, touch and caress them, which can be extremely arousing for both of you. If you want to kiss him while you’re on top, you’ll lean forward more. If you want to kiss his neck, you’ll be almost flat on top of him. Truly, the key to enjoying the woman-on-top position is feeling confident experimenting with the different sensations you can create during sex. Learn what you enjoy, and what he enjoys, and then you'll have your favorites.

Copyright © Dr. Sari Locker