Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: Do women ever like anal sex, or is it just painful for them?

Answer from Dr. Locker

According to the Kinsey Institute, about 43 percent of married women have tried anal intercourse. Of the 43 percent who tried it, about 40 percent found it pleasurable. Thirteen percent of the women said that they engaged in anal sex on a regular basis.

There are many nerve endings in the anus that can feel pleasure. The key to why a woman may enjoy anal stimulation is that she first finds pleasure from touching or fingering her anus (or having someone else finger it.) Most women who enjoy anal sex have had experience with fingering their anus, so they become comfortable with the feeling of something in there. The muscle at the entrance of the anus, called the anal sphincter, tightens when someone is not relaxed. When a woman wants to try anal sex, she can get the muscle relaxed and ready to be penetrated by the penis, by slowly inserting a well-lubricated finger into her anus. Over time, once she is comfortable with fingering in her anus with one finger, she can try two. If gentle thrusting of two fingers feels good to her, then with lots of lubricant, and patience, eventually she may like the feeling of a penis in her anus. The other important fact about anal sex, is that the man would have to take it very slowly and let her control the pace. Finally, she may find it less painful if she is squatting on top of the man, lowering her anus on his penis – rather than doing it on all fours from behind. I must emphasize that when anyone receives anal sex, the giver must wear a condom! HIV/AIDS is most easily transmitted sexually via unprotected anal sex. The bottom line with anal sex: take it slowly; use lubrication; always wear a condom.


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