What you don’t hear on TV is that the crowd gathered around David Blaine is buzzing about his sex appeal.

David Blaine is hanging upside down in Central Park. I went at sunset yesterday to get the sex scoop on the scene. When I arrived, he was lowering himself to his fans’ eye level. Folks were jovial and intrigued. As David hung there signing autographs, he answered questions from the crowd. A woman asked how his “penis was doing.” He said that everything was fine, and a security guard explained that he has a catheter attached to it to contain his urine.  One guy called out to him, “David, how do the girls look upside down?” David laughed, and one of his crew answered for him, “He has had ‘em that way before.” A petite brunette standing near his head seemed a bit embarrassed. Has he really tried upside down sex? We’ll never know, because David just grinned. A giggling woman pointed out that his grey-blue underwear was showing as he curled his back up to stretch. “Sexy!” she said to her girlfriend. I asked them why he has such sex appeal. She swooned, “his eyes,” which were hidden behind sunglasses that magically stayed on his upside-down head. Perhaps it’s more about his mystery than his eyes.

Most often when a teen girl or college women identifies herself as heterosexual, but chooses to kiss another girl or women, it is because she feels attracted to the other person, because she is striving to define her sexual orientation for herself, because she is curious, or because of any number of other personal reasons. Could they be pressured by a pop song? It’s possible, but unlikely. Possibly, and stereotypically, IF a woman feels any pressure to kiss someone of the same gender, then that pressure could be coming from a guy and alcohol could be involved – as depicted in Katy Perry’s song. Her catchy besong is not so troubling to me, but it’s the video that I find offensive. It’s anti-woman and anti-feminist. Katy Perry’s album is called “One of the Boys,” and that’s exactly what the “I Kissed a Girl” video is about. She is pandering to a male heterosexual fantasy to sell CDs. The video is not all bad. Some of it is sexy and sensual, and some images simply allude to sex, including Katy on a bed stroking a pussy cat. But the disturbing images are those in which her harem of black-lace clad women are depicted not as whole people, but rather in pieces – a shoulder, a leg, a neck — seemingly dismembered women. The still shot below is taken from the video.  The image is shown in the video just as it is here, with no context. She is not seen going under the couch, nor does she leave the couch. Is it a sexual joke that I’m missing? Are they just trying to come up with something “edgy” and unusual? Or is it solely intended to degrade women? Drop me a note if you have any thoughts on this image.

– How can I keep from queefing during sex?

Sari: There is no proven method. Some people try: new positions, more lubrication, or even Kegel exercises and squats before sex.

– Does size matter—in vaginas?                         

Sari: Compatibility matters for feeling full. Tight vagina? Small penis. Wide vagina? Large penis. Yet many care more about clitoral stimulation. 

– What should I keep in mind if I decide to make an erotic video with my boyfriend?

Sari: Use a wide shot, erotic lighting, and moan seductively. Destroy it immediately afterwards, saving yourself trouble later when you’re famous.

– Does condom size matter?

Sari: Most condoms fit most men. If the width feels tight, try one with an “easy-on” shape, wider base and head.

– What can I do in place of oral sex on him?

Sari: With your head between his legs, lick or lube your hand and masturbate him, while kissing his thighs or stomach.

– Does anal sex have long-term implications?

Sari: Always go slowly; use lubricant; wear condoms for disease protection. Then long-term, it could improve sphincter control and blood flow.

– Is using a female condom as safe as using a male condom?

Sari: They are slightly less effective, because of more risk of slippage. Yet they also protect the labia unlike male condoms.

– How do I handle an uncircumcised penis—literally?

Sari: When erect, you may not notice much difference, because the foreskin retracts automatically. When limp, enjoy playing with the foreskin!

– If I don’t want to kiss a guy immediately after he performs oral sex on me, what should I do?

Sari: Kiss his neck, chest or nipples. Have him roll over for a back massage. Or have oral sex on him!

– How do you tell a guy that you don’t want him to cum inside of you, even with a condom?

Sari: Saying, “I don’t want you to cum inside me,” should work. He might ask why, so be prepared to explain.

– What’s the best way to ask a man to get tested for STDs and HIV?

Sari: “Let’s get tested together,” is a positive way to say it, as a joint activity, benefiting your relationship and health.

– The condom slipped off without me knowing and was left inside me for a while. Is that dangerous?

Sari: You were at risk for diseases and pregnancy. Get checked. Next time, after ejaculation, withdraw condomed-penis when it’s still erect.

– How can I make my guy comfortable with using sex toys together?

Sari: Ease into it with non-threatening products, like sensual lubricants, and discrete vibrators. Demonstrate on yourself, showing him you like it.   

For answers to sex questions in MORE than 20 words, please read the ADVICE section of my website. You can submit your questions for me there, too.

One more note on that story. Take a look at the headline. Notice anything odd? No sex position is naughty, so it’s a weird headline for a piece about sex-against-wall to begin with… But besides that. Notice anything else? Do you see the misspelling?

Cosmopolitan, September 2008, p. 154

Posted by Dr. Sari Locker