sex advice

Sari with Julie Bowen ABCs Modern Family, Kate White Editor Cosmo.

Madonna lapping milk. Express Yourself.

From time to time popular magazines, TV shows, or websites claim that certain foods will turn you on, and in just one meal you can improve your sex life. However, the foods that are rumored to affect libido (oysters, dark chocolate, bananas, and more), simply contain some vitamins or minerals. None will actually elevate sex drive or improve your sex life, particularly because they would contain such small amounts of so-called aphrodisiac substances. There may be some placebo effect, but beyond that, science generally does not support their effect on libido. Simply put, aphrodisiacs don’t work. The ancient tradition of so-called aphrodisiacs is legend. Food cannot create passion where none exists.

The only way that food can get you more in the mood for sex is if you use food as if it’s a sex toy. Serve and savor it in a seductive way. Feed each other;  eat sensually; use it to try to change the way your bodies taste; lick food off of each other’s bodies. I’ve written more about how to use food during sex in answers to questions in the advice area of my site. Please check these out:

How can I use food during sex? 

What foods change the taste of semen?

What food are fun during kissing?

People often ask me to create exciting sex positions. Many of my new positions (the Groundhog, the Butterfly, and more) are explained in my book, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex. Here’s a fun one I wrote for Cosmopolitan magazine. 

 

Today is the first day of summer, when millions of people make their way to beaches all around the county. How much sex will be going on at the beach?

The warm sun and coo­­­­­l breezes, the rhythm of the pulsating waves - it’s all very sensual and alluring. Fun in the sun sometimes takes a sexual turn; yet, remember, having sex on a public beach is illegal under public indecency laws (not to mention that getting sand in your genitals may cause irritation or urinary tract infection). Despite these issues, every summer tons of people do it, and ask my advice about it. I’ve already received several e-mails asking me whether it’s safe to use condoms at the beach. The answer: only if you use them on the shore. (For more info, read my advice column.) This summer, do you plan to be law abiding at the beach, or make mad passionate love in the surf? If you are going to let sexual freedom override the laws of the land, which beach will you choose for your furtive sandy romp? Rupert Holmes popularized the passion for “making love at midnight, in the dunes of the Cape” in his 1979 hit song Escape (The Pina Colada Song). As it turns out, people are not getting as busy as they used to out on Cape Cod. Last summer on Cape Cod’s National Seashore (the 20 miles of coastline from Provincetown, MA to Truro, MA), fewer people than usual were ticketed for illegal public sex on the beach. In summer 2008, park rangers issued 49 disorderly conduct citations for “obscene” acts, a misdemeanor carrying fines up to $150. In 2007, they gave 132 citations, so the drop was dramatic. Could it be that the Cape Cod dunes are falling out of vogue as the sex destination? I wonder if the stats on the beaches of the Hamptons were up last summer. As only a true Bonacker knows, the East Hampton, NY beaches are the hottest. But there’s no song that mentions that…yet!