Florida International University: Miami, FL Florida Sari Locker

Sun Sentinel Sari Locker

Sun-Sentinel Newspaper, March 1995

Meet a Tour Guide to Sex in the '90s

by Sherri Winston

Nervous giggles rattle through the auditorium at Florida International University. Students and spectators shift uneasily in their itchy wool-covered seats.

"Whatever happened to the joy of sex?" Sari Locker asks from the stage. At 25, Sari has a master's degree in sexology from the University of Pennsylvania. Since 1992, she has hosted a radio interview show in New York City that deals with the very intimate topic of love, sex and the revival of intimacy.

When I first spotted the glossy posters announcing Sari's arrival at FIU, I'll admit, I giggled like the kids. She was billed as the "Dr. Ruth of the MTV Generation." I wondered if that meant she'd explain sexual mechanics while humming a Grunge ditty or if she'd speak with a funny accent while describing hidden parts of the anatomy.

I'll go, I thought. It should be entertaining. What it turned out to be was very educational.

Sari's focus is simple: Sexual fears have overshadowed sexual pleasure. Protecting yourself and your health, that goes without saying. But she wants to educate people on how to have fun while grappling with issues like AIDS, date rape and condoms.

"Do you want to know how to have mind-blowing sex in the '90s?" she asks. Sari says this is the generation that grew up on sitcoms, video games and trendy toys. "And we also grew up with a lot of myths about sex."

Giggles give way to laughter as Sari exposes some of the more ludicrous myths, such as a lack of sex can cause blindness in post-adolescent males. (Several young men hang their heads, sorry, no doubt, that their scam has been uncovered.) Sari explains that her family was very open and honest about sexual topics. She says her mom and dad provided realistic answers to questions that other parents try hard to avoid.

As a result, Sari says she was more knowledgeable about sex than her classmates while an undergrad at Cornell University. She says friends' questions soon turned from sexual pleasure and focused on negatives.

Sari's Mind Blowing Sex in the Real World (HarperCollins, $10) will be released in August. Looking around the room I see the eager, hopeful, confused faces of the young adults, but I'm happy to see so many older adults here, too. This isn't kid stuff. Sari's message has a universal appeal and the steps to "mind-blowing sex" should be followed by anyone who's thinking about having safe, gratifying sex.

-- Understand the technical, emotional and natural elements of sex. That means how to do it, handling it mentally and being comfortable with the look, smell and feel of your body.

-- Learn how to balance those three components. "Someone who thinks he knows all there is about positions and mechanics, but thinks great sex is just having as much sex with as many people as possible, is ignoring the emotional side to it," she says.

-- Understanding and using your intellectual capacity. "Humans," Sari says, "have the ability to have more sex than any other creature, because we have the capacity to think."

-- Utilize your capacity for creativity to find greater pleasure in sex.

"I hope what they got from me tonight they can take with them and use," Sari would later say. Students and older folk are engaged in intense discussion. This taboo topic is being discussed between the sexes.

By the end, laughter gives way to questions; answers seem to give way to thought. Mind-blowing sex? Let me think about it. Thinking can lead to good decisions.

"Be safe," she calls out in closing, "and enjoy your sexuality."

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