Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: What will sex feel like the first time? Does sex hurt? Does sex hurt the first time?

Answer from Dr. Locker

First time sex is different for everyone. Some girls feel pain their first time if their hymen breaks. Others report that there was minimal pain, but they were surprised by the new feeling of pressure inside their vagina during sex. When people have been sexual for many months without ever having intercourse, they tend to know each other’s bodies well, and they are usually comfortable with each other sexually. So then their first time together may feel better than if they did not have that level of intimacy. If a couple feels nervous around each other, then their first time may be awkward and uncomfortable. Also, the first time may feel better if the couple has had a lot of foreplay right before starting intercourse -- at least 20 or 30 minutes of foreplay. When a woman is completely aroused and lubricated sex will usually feel better to her. Communication is very important, so that the couple can talk about what feels good and what to stop doing if it hurts. Also, communication is imperative before the first time, so they can talk about waiting, and knowing when they are sure they are ready.


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