Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: I have little to no sex drive, which makes dating difficult because I know I am bound to disappoint. What can I do?

Answer from Dr. Locker

There’s plenty you can do, both on your own and with a new partner. For starters, consider seeing a doctor to have your general health examined and your hormone levels checked. Many illnesses can affect sex drive. Also, hormone levels can have a huge impact on libido, and treatments can help in some cases. If you’re found to be in tip-top form physically, you may want to see a sex therapist, who can discuss with you whether your past sexual relationships or attitudes toward sex are dampening your drive. (You can find a sex therapist in your area by searching the website for the American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists at www.aasect.org.) Finally, consider discussing this issue with the next person you’re dating and feel seriously about—that may be scary, but this gives you the opportunity to explain that the issue is with you, not whether you’re attracted to your date. Plus, it shows you care enough about this person to be upfront and are want to work on it—and that’s something any date will appreciate.


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