Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: Do we have to use sex toys to spice up our sex life?

Answer from Dr. Locker

Some people assume that when you want to kick things up a notch in your sex life, that's accomplished by watching a porn movie, or buying a sex toy, or trying out a whips-and-chains scenario. Not so. For many truly content couples, that "spice" assumes many forms, many of which aren't stereotypically racy. Maybe it's establishing a little more eye contact during sex, or returning to the basics of making out with no agenda of taking things further. The point is that you should find what's exciting to you rather than reach for what you think should rev things up. If want to forgoe vibrators and other toys, then instead to add variety to your sex life vary the locations where you have sex around your home, or experiment with new positions. For many couples just feeling their bodies meet in new ways or in new locations can be all the excitement they need. That can help enliven things without toys.


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