Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: I'm a married monogamous man who has a reluctance to "go down after going to town." Is oral sex a common practice following unprotected sexual intercourse? Should I try to do this?

Answer from Dr. Locker

It is not uncommon for a man to want to avoid having oral sex on a woman just after he ejaculated into her vagina; nor is it uncommon for a man to have oral sex on a woman after ejaculating inside her. While there are some men who may find their own semen especially arousing, and enjoy tasting it on a woman’s vulva after sex, there are others who would be disgusted by this idea. And there are others who would be able to go down on her after intercourse without even tasting their own semen (as I will explain in a second). While I have read various non-scientific surveys about this topic, I think that none is reliable enough to cite. If I were to take a stab at a rough estimate… perhaps about half of men feel comfortable with the idea of having oral sex on a woman after unprotected intercourse, while one quarter would only be willing to do this if a condom had been used, and perhaps another quarter would be repulsed by oral sex on her after intercourse with or without a condom. This is just a rough estimate, but it gives you some idea of the fact that this is variable.

There are some men who would not mind having oral sex on a woman after ejaculating inside her, because they would be primarily stimulating her clitoris with their tongue – not putting their tongue inside her vagina. Most of the semen would be inside her vagina, or flowing down out of it. The clitoris is above the vagina enough so that his semen may not be on her clitoris. The man may smell it during oral sex on her, but he may not actually taste it or get it in his mouth. Or at least not much of it.

If you wanted to have oral sex after intercourse with your wife, it seems to me that you have a few options: 1) Just lick her clitoris and avoid her vagina. 2) Ask her to quickly rinse off in the shower, or keep a towel or some “wet ones” by the bed and you can wash her. 3) Use a condom for intercourse, particularly one with a low-latex scent or a flavored condom, so you won’t have to taste latex. **I must emphasize that people should be practicing safer sex, using condoms every time they have sex.**

Finally, there is no rule stating that you need to "go down after going to town", also called "eating cream pie". Unless your wife adores oral sex after you ejaculate inside her, you don’t need to try to do this. If you want to have oral sex on her, you could do it before you have intercourse. Or you could have oral sex after intercourse but before you ejaculate. You can help her achieve orgasm before intercourse. Or if she still has not had an orgasm after you had sex and you ejaculated, perhaps you and she could stimulate her to orgasm with your hands.


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