teen sex

Today at 5:15pm EST, I’ll be on CNN Headline News talking about this news story…

Teen girls sent naked pics and now parents are suing school

By Jessica Blanchard, Seattle Post-Intelligencer

“Parents of two Bothell High School cheerleaders have sued the Northshore School District, alleging school officials erred when they suspended the girls from the team this year after nude photos of them circulated throughout the student body via text message.  School officials learned of the photos in August after receiving copies from a source they have not named, according to the lawsuits. In early September, the two teens were suspended from the cheer squad — one for 30 days and the other for the entire school year. Both lawsuits, filed Monday in King County Superior Court, accuse school administrators of violating the girls’ due process rights, needlessly sharing the photos with other school staff members and failing to promptly report the matter to police as possible child pornography.  Attorney Matthew King, who represents both families, said it also was troubling that the teens were punished, but football players and other students at the school who sent or received the texts were not.”  This is the link to the full story.

I did a double take when I saw this candy at Walgreens.

I suppose this could provide a teachable moment for girls who are Miley fans, if they have not yet learned the anatomical names of sexual body parts. Hold up candy, and explain: “This is called a penis. It consists of a shaft and a head, also called the glans. On the underside where the glans meets the shaft is an indentation called the frenulum. At the base of the penis, you’ll see another part of the male anatomy called the scrotum. Can you say ‘scrotum’?” Of course, after the lesson I doubt you’ll want your daugther eating this candy. (An aside: you’ll see that they are individually wrapped, to reduce the risk of a sword fight in your mouth.)

I just got off the air from the appearance during which I discussed the MTV Video Music Awards. See the photo below of me standing in front of the camera. Host Mike Galanos is based in Atlanta, so I was on via satellite from CNN’s gorgeous studio in NYC. In two segments, Perez Hilton and I discussed Jordin Sparks’ remark defending purity rings. Also on the air for the first segment was Joanna Weiss who wrote about this story for the Boston Globe. I agree with Perez Hilton that Jordin was right to say something, and given the fact that her remark was unrehearsed, she did fine. However, it is wrong to classify people — as she did — as either virgins or sluts. It’s the myth of that dichotomy that often keeps us from discussing the reality of most teens’ and young twentysomething’s sex lives. Most teens and twentysomethings have sex in the context of relationships, and at least 87% use birth control. Perhaps teens could feel more comfortable talking about sex with mom and dad if their parents understood that when teens have sex it is not always harmful or ”bad.” Perhaps teens would also feel more comfortable reaching out to get sex education if they knew that our culture would not categorize them as a “slut” if they responsibly choose to have sex.

Lynne Spears reveals in her new book that Britney lost her virginity at 14. Britney had previously said that she was a virgin until at least 18. At age 22, in 2003, Britney told W magazine, “I’ve only slept with one person my whole life. It was two years into my relationship with Justin, and I thought he was the one.”

None of this should be anyone’s business, but Britney’s. Yet, why is this pop culture gossip of interest to a sex educator? It has me thinking about the roles that parents play in their teens’ and twentysomethings’ sex lives, and the messages that this story gives about teen sex.

Teenagers should be made to feel that they can trust and confide in their parents about their sex lives if needed. Previous claims about Britney’s loss of virginity at 14 were only made by tabloids, such as 2007 US Weekly. Now her mother is divulging her stories. Is it possible that twentysomething Britney could have consented to allowing her mother to reveal these details? If Britney is, as reported, under a conservatorship by her father, then ethically gaining her daughter’s true consent would be unlikely. It was unethical for her parents to promote her as chaste to sell albums a decade ago, and also unethical to now portray her teen years as “troubled” to sell books.

Even more relevant to sex education: The timing of the release of Lynne’s book comes the same week that Gov. Sarah Palin made a choice to run for Vice President, thus bringing her pregnant daughter, Bristol Palin, under scrutiny. Both Lynne Spears and Sarah Palin have said that they believe that people should wait to have sex until marriage; yet, their teens did not wait. Maybe these stories could have a positive impact on Americans, illustrating that the abstinence-only message is not based in reality. In truth, 95% of Americans have sex before marriage, and this figure has been consistent for decades (Finer, 2007).

Speaking of a Jamie Lynn – Bristol connection: Lynne Spears denies reports that she had a baby gift sent to Bristol Palin, on behalf of Jamie Lynn. Her rep says there is no truth to the story that Jamie Lynn sent the following card: “Dear Bristol, Hang in there! XXOO, Jamie Lynn Spears.”

Photo from britneyfans.org