Posts Tagged ‘teen sex’

Here’s my definition of “Sexting.”

Sexting Definition: “Sexting” means sex texting — sending or receiving a text message that has sexual content. “Sexting” can also be defined as sending nude, semi-nude, or erotic pictures or video via cell phone. “Sexting” could mean sending and receiving a series of sexually explicit text messages for sexual gratification in the same manner as having phone sex. (“Sexting” is not used to refer to having sexual conversations over the cell phone, since that would still be called “phone sex.”)  “Sexting” may be intended to be flirtatious or provocative, or it may be used to request or arrange a sexual encounter.  — Dr. Sari Locker

In today’s New York Times’ article, “In Tangle of Young Lips, a Sex Rebellion in Chile,” it was revealed that teenagers in Chile are using social networking sites to arrange huge make-out “poncea” parties.  Well, actually, the NYT is a little late to the party: Newsweek covered the same story six months ago.  Also, the NYT story did not emphasize that the subculture of teens who call themselves “Pokemones” —  the majority of those at these parties — do not represent the majority of Chilean teens. Chile has been known as a country with conservative policies, little sex education, and high priced birth control. Recent research has shown that Chileans are striving to improve sexual issues in their country. Much help is needed. The average age of first intercourse in Chile is about 17 — but studies have found that adolescents in Chile do not have the sexual knowledge or attitudes to help them use contraception and condoms for HIV prevention.  It would be great if the widely read NYT story brings attention to teens in need of education and health care. Yet my concern is that the style of the article seems highly exploitative. They describe the hot action at the parties as follows, “boys and girls ages 14 to 18 are stripping off their shirts, revealing bras, tattoos and nipple rings. A tangle of lips and tongues and hands, all groping and exploring.” Plus, a sexy slide show accompanies the online version of the article. Rather than promote the need for sex education in Chile, the NYT’s sexualized images of topless Chilean teens titillate and exploit an adolescent subculture. That slide show could even potentially do harm by alerting American “sex tour” operators to add these Chilean teen make-out parties to their itinerary.

I just got off the air from the appearance during which I discussed the MTV Video Music Awards. See the photo below of me standing in front of the camera. Host Mike Galanos is based in Atlanta, so I was on via satellite from CNN’s gorgeous studio in NYC. In two segments, Perez Hilton and I discussed Jordin Sparks’ remark defending purity rings. Also on the air for the first segment was Joanna Weiss who wrote about this story for the Boston Globe. I agree with Perez Hilton that Jordin was right to say something, and given the fact that her remark was unrehearsed, she did fine. However, it is wrong to classify people — as she did — as either virgins or sluts. It’s the myth of that dichotomy that often keeps us from discussing the reality of most teens’ and young twentysomething’s sex lives. Most teens and twentysomethings have sex in the context of relationships, and at least 87% use birth control. Perhaps teens could feel more comfortable talking about sex with mom and dad if their parents understood that when teens have sex it is not always harmful or ”bad.” Perhaps teens would also feel more comfortable reaching out to get sex education if they knew that our culture would not categorize them as a “slut” if they responsibly choose to have sex.

Lynne Spears reveals in her new book that Britney lost her virginity at 14. Britney had previously said that she was a virgin until at least 18. At age 22, in 2003, Britney told W magazine, “I’ve only slept with one person my whole life. It was two years into my relationship with Justin, and I thought he was the one.”

None of this should be anyone’s business, but Britney’s. Yet, why is this pop culture gossip of interest to a sex educator? It has me thinking about the roles that parents play in their teens’ and twentysomethings’ sex lives, and the messages that this story gives about teen sex.

Teenagers should be made to feel that they can trust and confide in their parents about their sex lives if needed. Previous claims about Britney’s loss of virginity at 14 were only made by tabloids, such as 2007 US Weekly. Now her mother is divulging her stories. Is it possible that twentysomething Britney could have consented to allowing her mother to reveal these details? If Britney is, as reported, under a conservatorship by her father, then ethically gaining her daughter’s true consent would be unlikely. It was unethical for her parents to promote her as chaste to sell albums a decade ago, and also unethical to now portray her teen years as “troubled” to sell books.

Even more relevant to sex education: The timing of the release of Lynne’s book comes the same week that Gov. Sarah Palin made a choice to run for Vice President, thus bringing her pregnant daughter, Bristol Palin, under scrutiny. Both Lynne Spears and Sarah Palin have said that they believe that people should wait to have sex until marriage; yet, their teens did not wait. Maybe these stories could have a positive impact on Americans, illustrating that the abstinence-only message is not based in reality. In truth, 95% of Americans have sex before marriage, and this figure has been consistent for decades (Finer, 2007).

Speaking of a Jamie Lynn – Bristol connection: Lynne Spears denies reports that she had a baby gift sent to Bristol Palin, on behalf of Jamie Lynn. Her rep says there is no truth to the story that Jamie Lynn sent the following card: “Dear Bristol, Hang in there! XXOO, Jamie Lynn Spears.”

Photo from britneyfans.org