In the other Sept. 08 Cosmo article that I am quoted in — “100 Crazy Sex Questions: Answered in 20 Words or Less” (p. 146-149) — I was asked to write exactly 20 words each to answer thirteen sex questions. Compulsive, but fun. Also, it was challenging to answer accurately enough in exactly 20 words. (This is what a “sex expert” does for fun on a Friday night.) Here are the questions they sent, with the actual 20-word answers I wrote.  This is not quite what ended up in the final version in Cosmo, which is why I wanted to share it here. Of course, if you want more complete answers, consult my book or advice page.

– How can I keep from queefing during sex?

Sari: There is no proven method. Some people try: new positions, more lubrication, or even Kegel exercises and squats before sex.

– Does size matter—in vaginas?                         

Sari: Compatibility matters for feeling full. Tight vagina? Small penis. Wide vagina? Large penis. Yet many care more about clitoral stimulation. 

– What should I keep in mind if I decide to make an erotic video with my boyfriend?

Sari: Use a wide shot, erotic lighting, and moan seductively. Destroy it immediately afterwards, saving yourself trouble later when you’re famous.

– Does condom size matter?

Sari: Most condoms fit most men. If the width feels tight, try one with an “easy-on” shape, wider base and head.

– What can I do in place of oral sex on him?

Sari: With your head between his legs, lick or lube your hand and masturbate him, while kissing his thighs or stomach.

– Does anal sex have long-term implications?

Sari: Always go slowly; use lubricant; wear condoms for disease protection. Then long-term, it could improve sphincter control and blood flow.

– Is using a female condom as safe as using a male condom?

Sari: They are slightly less effective, because of more risk of slippage. Yet they also protect the labia unlike male condoms.

– How do I handle an uncircumcised penis—literally?

Sari: When erect, you may not notice much difference, because the foreskin retracts automatically. When limp, enjoy playing with the foreskin!

– If I don’t want to kiss a guy immediately after he performs oral sex on me, what should I do?

Sari: Kiss his neck, chest or nipples. Have him roll over for a back massage. Or have oral sex on him!

– How do you tell a guy that you don’t want him to cum inside of you, even with a condom?

Sari: Saying, “I don’t want you to cum inside me,” should work. He might ask why, so be prepared to explain.

– What’s the best way to ask a man to get tested for STDs and HIV?

Sari: “Let’s get tested together,” is a positive way to say it, as a joint activity, benefiting your relationship and health.

– The condom slipped off without me knowing and was left inside me for a while. Is that dangerous?

Sari: You were at risk for diseases and pregnancy. Get checked. Next time, after ejaculation, withdraw condomed-penis when it’s still erect.

– How can I make my guy comfortable with using sex toys together?

Sari: Ease into it with non-threatening products, like sensual lubricants, and discrete vibrators. Demonstrate on yourself, showing him you like it.   

For answers to sex questions in MORE than 20 words, please read the ADVICE section of my website. You can submit your questions for me there, too.

Tags: Cosmo, Dr. Sari Locker, sex advice, sex questions