I’ve been traveling a lot lately to lecture about sex at colleges and conferences. For my speaking engagements, I always bring thousands of condoms, dozens of my books, and a number of different display items, such as dildos and other sex toys.  Last week at an airport, I had the pleasure of watching an airline Transportation Security Administration (TSA) officer inspect my suitcase. Wearing thick blue latex gloves, he very competently removed each sex toy, the bags of condoms, and multiple copies of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex. He placed the items on a stainless steel counter, swiped each with a wand to detect whether any could be used for bomb making, and then apparently concluded that my sex paraphernalia were not a threat to national security. He placed the card pictured below into my suitcase as proof that it had been inspected. Then he carefully repacked, putting all the items back into the suitcase…until he got to the last dildo, an extra thick 15 incher (for educational purposes only of course!). He couldn’t quite figure out how to get it to fit in the suitcase. He tried a few different angles of insertion, and then I called out to him, “Do you want me to stuff it back in for you?” He replied: “No thanks. That would violate TSA regulations.” He finally found the angle, and got it in. 

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