Posts Tagged ‘Sex Education’

Lynne Spears reveals in her new book that Britney lost her virginity at 14. Britney had previously said that she was a virgin until at least 18. At age 22, in 2003, Britney told W magazine, “I’ve only slept with one person my whole life. It was two years into my relationship with Justin, and I thought he was the one.”

None of this should be anyone’s business, but Britney’s. Yet, why is this pop culture gossip of interest to a sex educator? It has me thinking about the roles that parents play in their teens’ and twentysomethings’ sex lives, and the messages that this story gives about teen sex.

Teenagers should be made to feel that they can trust and confide in their parents about their sex lives if needed. Previous claims about Britney’s loss of virginity at 14 were only made by tabloids, such as 2007 US Weekly. Now her mother is divulging her stories. Is it possible that twentysomething Britney could have consented to allowing her mother to reveal these details? If Britney is, as reported, under a conservatorship by her father, then ethically gaining her daughter’s true consent would be unlikely. It was unethical for her parents to promote her as chaste to sell albums a decade ago, and also unethical to now portray her teen years as “troubled” to sell books.

Even more relevant to sex education: The timing of the release of Lynne’s book comes the same week that Gov. Sarah Palin made a choice to run for Vice President, thus bringing her pregnant daughter, Bristol Palin, under scrutiny. Both Lynne Spears and Sarah Palin have said that they believe that people should wait to have sex until marriage; yet, their teens did not wait. Maybe these stories could have a positive impact on Americans, illustrating that the abstinence-only message is not based in reality. In truth, 95% of Americans have sex before marriage, and this figure has been consistent for decades (Finer, 2007).

Speaking of a Jamie Lynn – Bristol connection: Lynne Spears denies reports that she had a baby gift sent to Bristol Palin, on behalf of Jamie Lynn. Her rep says there is no truth to the story that Jamie Lynn sent the following card: “Dear Bristol, Hang in there! XXOO, Jamie Lynn Spears.”

Photo from britneyfans.org

Teen pregnancy is not more accepted today than ever before, but it certainly seems to be sanctioned by our political candidates.

It was announced today that Vice Presidential candidate Gov. Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, is five months pregnant. According to The New York Times, Sarah Palin said, “Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family.”

Presidential Candidate Senator Barack Obama seemingly condoned this teen pregnancy, saying: “My mother had me when she was 18.”

Obama also said, “How family deals with issues and teenage children – that shouldn’t be the topic of our politics.”  His remark does not alter the reality that teen pregnancy is now most certainly a topic of our politics.  When a hurricane occurs along side a political campaign, it becomes a topic of our politics.  Similarly, when the “abstinence-only” VP candidate’s teenage daughter’s unwed pregnancy is announced during a political campaign… this is a political issue. I hope it opens up the conversation about the causes, consequences, and possible methods of preventing teen pregnancy, as well as the issue of sex education.

Comprehensive sexuality education should be funded and/or mandated, and the government must stop funding abstinence only sex education. Also, political parents should be able to say that Americans should talk to their teens about how to prevent pregnancy. Research has found that when parents talk to their teens about sexual choices, values, and birth control, then teens are more likely to delay sex and less likely to have an unintended pregnancy. Either Bristol Palin didn’t know how to use birth control, or she didn’t care to use it. This is related to how she was parented, and what she may or may not have been taught by her mother about sex, love, and life. I find it disturbing that thus far there have been no statements from the political campaigns about sex education, parenting, or about the fact that teen pregnancy is preventable. 

Jamie Lynn Spears, the Gloucester Girls, fictional Juno, and now Bristol Palin.  Will spotlighting another high profile (“celebrity”) teen pregnancy, help or hinder the conversation about teen pregnancy, sex education and parental education? More of my thoughts on this are here and here. Teen pregnancy has been a very public issue in 2008. It’s sad that another teen in the public eye had to become pregnant in order for this to become a political issue. It’s worse that politicians are still silent about the most important issues of teen pregnancy.

Bristol Palin and Trig Palin: Photo from The New York Times

Posted by Dr. Sari Locker

Today, I updated the “Questions of the Week” in my SEX ADVICE COLUMN .  Please check it out!

I updated the “Questions of the Week” in my sex advice column today (as I do every Monday, Wednesday, Friday). This week, there are new questions about nipples, sexually transmitted infections, the G-spot for men, and more. To find hundreds of other sex and relationship questions and my answers, be sure to “search” the archives of my sex advice column. Also, from that page you can “submit” your own questions for me to answer. Enjoy!

 (This photo was taken for my book “Sari Says.” Blouse: Pucci. Pants: H&M. Feather Pencil and Toe Rings: Claires. Authentic Egg Chair from the 1960s: Awesome!)

Posted by Dr. Sari Locker

Legendary actor Ernest Borgnine, 91, has been making headlines for a hilarious little piece of a TV interview that is all the rage on You Tube. He appeared on the Fox News Channel to promote his new autobiography, and the host asked him the secret to his longevity. “I masturbate a lot,” the actor ‘whispered’ to the Fox host, loud enough for all of us to hear. This clip is great sex ed, because it promotes several very important (and too infrequently discussed) truths about human sexuality:

1. Masturbation has health benefits, such as lowering stress, and as research has found, lowering the risk of prostate cancer in elderly men.
2. Masturbation is normal for married people. Ernest B. has been married to his current wife for over 30 years.
3. Elderly people are still sexual! Even at age 91.

In case you missed it, take a look at this Oscar winning actor/Sex Ed Hero. Then if you are so inspired, take a break to enjoy making yourself live longer. The video is on youtube here.

Posted by Dr. Sari Locker

In addition to telling me that there was no “pregnancy pact,” they also told me that there was no “homeless guy” impregnating the girls of Gloucester.

I recently talked to two pregnant teenagers from Gloucester, MA and the mother of one of the girls (who had also been a teen mother). We discussed their sex ed, sexual choices, and their feelings about being pregnant (and in the public eye). I also asked about the babies’ fathers… and THE question that many had wanted answered, but no one seemed to have asked. Yes, I asked about the “24-year-old homeless guy.” 

You surely remember the Time magazine article that claimed that teens were trying to get pregnant as part of a “pregnancy pact” at Gloucester High School (GHS). In it, the principal was quoted as saying that they, “found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy.” Well, the pregnant girls from Gloucester who I met told me that they were not trying to have babies, and they were not seeking out random men to impregnate them. They had boyfriends their age, and their pregnancies occurred because they didn’t use birth control — not because they wanted babies. They did not understand how the “homeless guy” rumor got started, or why the principal would have stated it to a reporter. They said very definitively that the other girls in their school also got pregnant “by mistake” from boys their age –  boyfriends, not homeless men.  Also noteworthy, they confirmed that some of the 18 pregnant girls have gotten abortions. 

Of course, I must emphasize that I am reporting what two pregnant Gloucester teens told me. I did not talk to all 18 girls, and no one will truly know who got pregnant from whom and why, except each of girls who got pregnant and the guys who got them pregnant.

The press latched on to the “pregnancy pact” story because America loves a “shocking teen sex story.” The reality of the Gloucester pregnancies may be far more mundane, but no less troubling. One of the Gloucester girls told me that she, “didn’t think that pregnancy would happen,” to her. She said that she knew about birth control, but she and her boyfriend didn’t think they needed to “bother with it” — even though they did not want a baby. It’s that type of denial that is often at the root of teen pregnancy. Other reasons commonly cited for why teens get pregnant include: perpetuating a cycle of teen motherhood when their parents had them as a teen; when parents do not encourage them to wait or don’t teach them any values about sex; and when the teen does not have future goals, dreams or aspirations to provide an incentive for why they would want to delay pregnancy until much later in their lives. The girls from Gloucester who I spoke with fit these models.

Will there be a chance to focus the media’s attention on the realities at Gloucester High School? Is there hope that Gloucester can teach teens to wait to have sex and to use birth control when they have sex? Gloucester is a small, predominately Catholic, blue-collar community that seems reluctant to help teens get birth control and learn how and why to use it. The town is organizing “listening posts” to get the community talking about teen pregnancy, but they are not planning to get teens and their parents together to talk about values about sex. It is imperative that parents and teens discuss these issues. If GHS would let me facilitate these conversations, you know I would. Though now the school is not open to having a sex educator visit (especially one who works on television). In fact, there have been many health educators who have recently advised GHS about how to provide access for their students to contraception and how to implement comprehensive sex education, but they have yet to begin these programs. (GHS curently offers sex ed to freshman, but it is not a comprehensive course, and is not offered after freshman year.) To understand some of the reaction to these issues in Gloucester, check out their local paper, including the recent editorial written by the school track coach, in which he equates condom distribution to giving drugs or “alcoholic beverages to the students, and… a “safe” place to booze it up, such as in the high school field house.”

The Gloucester Fisherman, and effective birth control.

Posted by Dr. Sari Locker